A Good Run
by jmmy
Summary: She is Samantha Carter. And it's been a good run.


Summary: She is Samantha Carter. And it's been a good run.

Disclaimers: Not mine!

* * *

She is nearly 24, and a Captain in the U.S Air Force. She has just received a transfer, and is slightly unsure, as she waits outside the briefing room to be told her assignment, why this is – theoretical astrophysicists belong at NASA, surely, not the Pentagon? She runs her fingers through her short blonde hair – one of many concessions to being a part of a male-dominated workforce – and sighs, patiently waiting for her superior officer to brief her, on something called 'the StarGate Program' wishing she could be working on her latest paper on wormholes, or taking apart her bike in her garage and fixing it up again. But she doesn't let her impatience show – always the good little soldier.

She is 12, and her dad has been gone for two years, on and off, always bringing her and Mark little tokens back from whichever country he has been assigned to, but never quite getting that all they would really want is for him to be around a little bit more. The thrill of presents from foreign countries has long since worn away, and while Mark may be able to cope with the lack of a father, at the age of 16 he has had longer to deal with the loss than her. She was always her mother's daughter, until she died, and now the lack of a father as well means that she has had to grow up very quickly. But then again, military brats often do…

She is 27, and has finally been transferred directly into Cheyenne Mountain. She should have been in the team that went through the Gate originally – Col. O'Neill, Kawalsky, Feretti, Daniel Jackson et al. Circumstances took that away from her, but fate led her to be involved this second time around. Fate, and the fact that she was now the world's leading expert on StarGate technology. She waits outside the briefing room, much like the time four years ago when she first joined the project, only this time there is nowhere she'd rather be.

She is 16, and she stands in the cemetery, looking down on her mother's grave. She misses her so much it hurts, even now seven years later. Years of military school and having a father in the Air Force has taught her a lot, however, and Carters Don't Cry. So, instead, she places the flowers on the grave, and wishes her brother had come and her father had remembered. She isn't yet old enough or wise enough to understand that he chooses to forget because the pain is too strong…

She is 36, and has saved the world more times than she can remember. Her team have become her family now, although her real family are much closer than they used to be, for which she is eternally grateful. Something about staring death in the face really makes you appreciate the little things… And now, after 9 years, she's leaving the mountain. She's worried, a little, but she knows she'll be back, especially with Cameron there – she still feels guilty for leaving him in command, but she's only a phone call away. And now, she's not in Jack's chain of command anymore, and they can finally acknowledge what was left in the room so many years ago, and she's happy.

She is 22, clocking up air time during the Gulf War, flying over enemy territory and loving every minute of it. Its times like these, flying high, or racing her brand new bike at full speed, that she truly feels alive, and understands why her father loved his job so much. She understands a little more now why he threw himself into his work after her mother died – up here, you really can forget everything else. Everyday life seems so mundane, that you can almost forget that there's a you outside of work.

She's 28, lying frozen against Col. O'Neill in the middle of an arctic wasteland, wishing for millions of things that for some reason all seem to boil down to one wish… That he wasn't her C.O. This is the first time she's really allowed herself to acknowledge the attraction she's had for him since day one, possibly because this is the first time she really can't see a way out of their situation. The first time she really believes she might die…

She's 29, and has finally got over the violation of Jolinar when it comes back full force. And to add to that, she must deal with the fact that her father is near death, and needs a symbiote to survive. And again, she finds herself wishing that he wasn't her C.O., because she could really use a shoulder to cry on right now, but he is, and she's a Carter. And they don't cry, so she sucks it up and plays the good little soldier again, and deals with it. Because that's all she can do.

She's 31, and nearly completely unconscious with the drugs Janet gave her, but she knows she has to try to let them know that they aren't Zatarcs. Funny that this time, the one thing that can save her is something that she's been trying for four years to hide. She desperately tries to get Janet to understand that they lied, and the relief must be clear on her face when Janet helps her off the bed. She just hopes there'll be a way to recover from this, that their records can remain (at least in her case) untarnished.

She's 34, and in tears as the man she loves sacrifices himself, not for the first time but possibly for the last, to save the world. Frozen in a block of ice somewhere in Antarctica, she marvels at how many times he has given his life willingly to save humanity, even against unstoppable odds. And she promises herself that she'll find a way to save him, to get back the Jack O'Neill that they all know and love.

She's 45, happily married and with two wonderful children, teaching in a college in Colorado, having never quite been able to leave. The time she spent trekking across the galaxy is long past now, although she is still a regular visitor to the complex, and does travel through the gate on occasion to visit Teal'c and other friends. She has a beautiful blonde daughter of 7 and a brown haired son of 8, and she knows that this is what their years of sacrifices were for. She is happy.

She is 95, and nearly spent. Her children have children, and now, four years after she lost her Jack, two after losing Daniel, and with Teal'c having died in battle nearly twenty years ago now, she knows it is time for her to go. She thinks of the years that passed, the friends lost and the family gained. She remembers her first love, and her Jack, and her children as babies, and she is happy still. It took her a long while to get here, but it was a good journey, and she wouldn't change it for the world. She looks around her, at the big metal ring that dominated her life for so long, and she knows that soon she will rejoin her Jack, their ashes scattered amongst the stars. She is happy again, more so than she has been for four years, and to be honest she is surprised she survived this long without him. But no matter now. She can finally rest. The world has new people to save it now.

She is 17, with her first boyfriend. She is 5, with her favourite toy. She is 24, finding out that wormholes are real and she gets to spend her life researching them. She is 27 going through the Stargate for the first time. She is 28 and realising she is attracted to her C.O. She is 31 and realising that attraction has grown into love. She is 36 and can finally say that she loves him without losing her job. She is 38, and Mrs Carter-O'Neill, with a beautiful son and a daughter on the way. She is 47, and she hates him with a fury because they are arguing, but knows that in two hours time they will be as in love as when they first married. She is a baby, just born, safe in her mother's arms. She is a mother, holding her own newborn child. She is a wife and a warrior, a lover, a friend, a hero, a woman and a soldier all at the same time. She is Samantha Carter-O'Neill. And it's been a good run.


End file.
